ahhhh.....finally a week is over. a hectic week it has been. exams exams n more exams. it was fun though going thru the emotional ride. suspense, nervous etc.
so here's this week's re-cap:

Mon,11.09
- english paper 1
- wonder how will the marker re-act upon reading my essay? hmm...cos i actually poked fun at Taufik Batisah. yikes! haha
- how in the world is a proposal written?? i seriously do not know...is it the same as a letter of recommendation? hmm...i dont recall my EL teacher teaching how to write a proposal letter. O well, like she once said when we were doing our test, she didnt want to c us wasting our time figuring out the letter format. Dont know just dont know lah. what is imporant is the tone of the letter n the way u write. thats all. so i blabbed n blabbed. *hopefully its right*
- shock to receive a msg from diq thru dian. he said there's a DnT class that afternoon. we were like: "Halooo...its the exam period n he still wanna have afternoon class? biar btol?!". refusing to belive diq, i personally called the man himself n true enough there was a class. he wanted us to make the necessary changes to our folio since he has marked it. thank god i passed! did some last touch up on my artefact n wallah, its all done!

Tue,12.09
-EL P2
- shocked yani didnt turn up. sick. love sick i guess cos she told wawa she quarrelled with her bf. but yani, surely not to an extent whereby u forsake ur exams right? haiish..
- compre quite straight forward though. but summary? hmm...i seem to fall short of the no. of words. i have the points but somehow, somewhere, something was missing.
- went to cwp with ct n fana to bind my gen phy notes. then went to popular to get some stationeries. then came the biggest shock of my life. i really felt like killing myself
CT: Nad,esok nk kene pkai long ruler tak utk paper 1?
Me: (Confidently says) Esokkn SS paper jek. Buat apa nk long ruler?
CT: Huh??? Mana ada Nad?! Esok lepas SS ada e-maths paper 1!!
Me: (Stares at CT n looked at Fana for confirmation) Serious??!! Kau biar btol?!
CT n Fana: A AH Nad!!
Me:Astghfirullahaladzim!....setahu aku SS jek! Aaaarrgghh!!!
CT n Fana: *shakes head*

i swear i only saw the SS paper only on wed. i didnt look further down to make sure there was something else. went home to check if i got the wrong time table. n true enough there was an e-maths ppr1! i panicked n worked on maths right away. lucky i prepared myself during hols. went thru a lil bit of maths to get the engine ready.later at night, i studied SS

Wed,13.09
- Dian didnt turn up. really really sick. she has beeen sick since sch term started. gave mr sani the pix he requested. mati2 nk bayar balik. org da kata tak payah tu dah la...
- SS paper was freaking annoying. i concentrated more on health-expecting it to come out for SEQ but it came out for SBQ!! eeargh. what r these teachers trying to do?test us? or kill us? give guidelines for us to study but exam was totally diff. plus, the time is pathetically too short!
- i dare say the e-maths ppr 1 was easy. yah easy. i really really really do hope that i score in it cos i think i'm gonna get slaughtered for paper 2.

Thurs,14.09
- WE really gambled our way thru Hist. everbody studied diff topics. Diff ppl believed diff topics would come out. n sure enough, all of us were dead. none of the topics we studied came out for SEQ. even if it did, the topic was one which we scan thru only. arrgghh!! comb humans is so idiotic!! the topics r so unpreictable. it really doesnt make sense for us to be sitting for comb humas paper. it requires us to memorise like the WHOLE bk. totally impossible! kiss my humans gdbye arh..

Fri,15.09
- i was freakin' afraid of the maths paper 2. somehow, since pri sch, this pathetic small brain of mine just couldnt except maths. i dont know why. a confidence issue? or am i just plain stupid? n i tell u, i'm so really gonna fail my paper 2. f*#k la! why seh i cant do maths! argh!
- niwaes, early in the morning assembly, cg called me out. thought what sey...he want all mine, dian's n sobri's essays that we've written for the first 6 mths. want to make it as a sample for next year students.
*bangga ah tu...hehe* mesti ah, karya aku. lolx..
- then came mr sani. alamak, he really put me in a dilemma ah. up till now, i dont really know my stand in the matter. NPCC HQ has called for the 71st Batch of Cadet Inspectors. how? should i go or not? dulu beriya2 sangat nak. tapi bila tiba masa sekarang, keberatan pulak. keberatan sebab bila fikir2 balik, mcm tk worth it ah. becoming a CI n serving back the unit is a form of voluntary service- i dont get paid. but i have to go thru a serious of courses n camps. that is from 8Dec-26Dec 06. why torture myself go for hardcore camp-in-training when i willingly wanto be a CI n serve the unit back??why trouble myself? its not as if i get paid. i'm not being money-minded here but its all not...................just not right u see.
on the other hand, i would really really love to serve back the unit. it was so so so fun being a cadet. the trips, the occasional fun time we had mingling around. the rare chance to handle n use arms. once in a lifetime experience being commander. there's so much things i've achieved in NPCC. i'm so grateful. no words can describe my feelings. i still wanna have fun in NP. my heart n soul is there. but its just that i cant bring myself to go thru the camps n future meetings. can i just come back n help the unit w/o becoming a CI but yet be recognised as one??? pleeeeeeaasseee.....*sobsob*




i really am lost n confused. should i give this up?